


little starstruck innuendos (inadequacies and foreign bodies)

by MoragMacPherson



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Firefighter Cassian, Firefighter Jyn, Gen, Inappropriate use of playground equipment, Kay would really like to be destroying public property, Legal and ethical destruction of public property, Paramedic Bodhi, Paramedic Kay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 22:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11907510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoragMacPherson/pseuds/MoragMacPherson
Summary: EMT Bodhi's worried that the next call is going to change his life. He's probably right.





	little starstruck innuendos (inadequacies and foreign bodies)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [attackedastoria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/attackedastoria/gifts).



> Beta'd by the incomparable [Eisoj5](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Eisoj5/pseuds/Eisoj5). Title from Van Morrison's 'TB Sheets' because I might have rewatched 'Bringing Out The Dead' as research.

Bodhi Rook is beyond ready for his shift to end, even though it's just now their lunch break. It's not that he dislikes his shift partner: Kay's a very… efficient EMT— his bedside manner might leave more than a little to be desired, but after four years of driving an ambulance, Bodhi's not going to begrudge anyone their coping habits. But the shift so far has been the sort of quiet that makes the hairs on the back of Bodhi's neck stand up— somehow, he just _knows_ there's a truly horrifying call waiting out there, already loaded into the chamber, and it's just a question of which unlucky bus dispatch will call for it.

"Robert Zero One, you out there?"

Kay picks up the receiver while blotting his face with a napkin, even as Bodhi flails at him to not pick up— he _just_ finished telling Kay about the weird feeling he has about tonight. "Robert Zero One here, just coming off break, you got something fun for us?" he asks with a certain amount of glee in his voice that sometimes Bodhi likes, but right now is just upsetting.

"Oh, I've got something for you, we need you at the corner of Yavin and Fourth, we've got a man stuck in some kind of playground equipment there, no further information."

"I suppose that's fun enough for the likes of us," says Kay, setting the receiver back down. He gives Bodhi an almost beatific look, albeit tinged with his usual layer of smugness. "See? For all of your doomsday predictions, we're not playing God tonight, we've just got some asshole stuck in the swings again." A deeper grin crosses his face at the prospect of being legally and ethically obligated to destroy public property and he adds, "And I think it's my turn to use the bolt cutters."

Bodhi lets out a long sigh and packs the remnants of his sandwich away before starting up the van. "It _is_ your turn with the bolt cutters— if our patient calls for them. But I'm feeling lucky: I say we find this guy halfway through a slide—"

"And in that case, it's _always_ your turn with the Astroglide," says Kay with a wink.

Bodhi just snorts and puts the van into gear. "You just wish you were so lucky."

It turns out that neither of them are right. Bodhi tilts his head when they get there, not quite believing what he's seeing. "Well, this doesn't call for bolt cutters," he says, getting his bag out of the back all the same.

Kay's had to tilt his head even farther. "And I don't think Astroglide's going to do the trick either," he says as he hops out of the truck. "What the hell do you even call that?"

Bodhi shakes his head before schooling his face into a slightly more professional expression. "Damned if I know. Stuck," he says as they walk over to the… piece of jungle gym equipment with the crowd around it. It's some kind of… metal tubing in a corkscrew shape with a pole on one side, probably meant for a small child to climb. A small child could stand inside it pretty easily and escape just as simply: unfortunately for him, the man currently kneeling inside of it isn't a child.

Bodhi lets Kay work crowd control and push the onlookers out of the way— he's big enough that he's a natural for that side of the work while Bodhi just ducks through and sets up next to their unfortunate patient. "Evening, sir, how'd you get yourself in here?" he asks.

The guy is… kind of hot, for all that he looks totally mortified and exhausted— best to check him for dehydration and exposure while Bodhi's down here. "I— getting in was easy, I think the problem was I got on my knees—"

"That's always how the trouble starts with you, ain't it, Luke?" calls out one of the onlookers that Kay's pushing away and Bodhi has to cover his laugh in the collar of his jacket.

"Shut the fuck up, Wedge," snaps the man— Luke, Bodhi supposes— before he gives Bodhi a slightly sheepish smile. "I mean— sorry, didn't mean to shout in your face, I'm just kind of— this isn't me at my best," he says, letting his head rest against the metal tubing.

Bodhi simply shakes his head and gets out his blood pressure cuff. "Occupational hazard, don't worry about it— he said your name's Luke?" he asks as he takes Luke's arm and wraps the cuff around it.

The man nods weakly, not meeting Bodhi's gaze. "Yeah, I'm Luke— Luke Skywalker, and I am absolutely humiliated to meet you like this," he mutters, biting on his lips which— dammit, Rook, this guy is a patient, get ahold of yourself, it's not _that_ distracting, especially considering everything else going on.

Bodhi gives him a kind smile all the same as he puts on a stethoscope. "I wouldn't worry about it, Luke: this is hardly the worst situation I've met someone in on this job. I'm Bodhi and I'm just going to check your vitals. You've been stuck here for awhile, haven't you?" he asks sympathetically.

"Almost two hours now," groans Luke and Bodhi notes it— for being out here all that time, his pulse and BP are good, and other than the embarrassment, he's not in any visible distress. He's just… stuck. Badly.

Bodhi's got a lot of questions to ask him about allergies and pre-existing conditions— thankfully, Luke appears to be an otherwise healthy young man— but he's not cruel, so he's not asking Luke the questions he's bound to have been asking himself over and over since he got trapped here, like 'what the hell were you doing?' or 'what the hell were you thinking?' The 'why' questions aren't in Bodhi's job description: no, his job is entirely focused on the more concrete things, in particular: 'how the hell are they going to get him out?' And in this case, the question is kind of a bit bigger than Bodhi can handle so he settles on 'where the hell is the fire department, shouldn't they have gotten the call at the same time?' But that's not a question that'd be terribly helpful for Luke, so for now Bodhi saves it as he pulls off the cuff and gives Luke a reassuring smile, squeezing his hand. "Well, I'm here to give you the good news that physically, you're doing pretty okay, your vitals are good, no signs of exposure or sunstroke— have your buddies gotten you a bottle of water?" he asks.

Luke shakes his head. "They, uh, offered but," and he blushes harder somehow, "I didn't want to drink anything until I knew I'd be able to go to the bathroom," he says, knocking his head against the metal again.

Bodhi bites back another grin and puts his hand in the way to stop Luke from giving himself a concussion. "Probably a valid concern, but you've still been in here awhile, I'm just going to go get you a bottle of water— but I'm not going far, I promise," he says. "We're going to get you out of here," says Bodhi as he gets to his feet.

"Be right back," he adds before he goes to grab Kay by the elbow, dragging him back to the ambulance. "Did dispatch say whether the fire jocks have been called yet? We're gonna need the jaws of life for this shit. Unless that kid has a pair of trick knees, and I think he would have already used them by now," he says, grabbing a bottle of water and one of the granola bars from his personal stash for good measure— he thinks for a moment and then heads up front to grab his neck pillow.

"Yeah, Cassian and his fire jocks get to have all the fun, and they're taking forever to get here," says Kay, toying with his sunglasses while the sun swiftly approaches the horizon and sounding a bit put-out at someone else getting to cut through the pole while he's left there watching. "I'm sure we'll just be able to pull him out of the top— unless you've got your heart set on him being double jointed," he adds as they start to make their way back. "In the meantime, you can keep holding his hand."

"Shut the fuck up, Kay," mutters Bodhi, rolling his eyes and getting himself back into professional mode for these kids— he's not _that_ much older than they are and he doesn't have Kay's kind of stature to intimidate them with— like the dark haired kid who's back by Luke's side and giving Bodhi what the kid must think is a charming smile as he gets up.

"Hey, just giving my friend here some moral support— you done looking him over, because I could definitely use some examining myself," he says, leaning up against the metal corkscrew and giving Luke a faceful of his ass, which Bodhi notes with a barely contained groan. "It's my ankle— might have sprained it just now," he adds.

Bodhi lets out a soft sigh and crosses his arms. "Really?" he asks, giving this Wedge character a very skeptical look.

"That's right, while I was here falling for you— oh, come on, that's gotta be good enough for a pity number— hey!" says Wedge as Kay finally has enough mercy for Bodhi to insist that they need to keep the area clear again— Bodhi just shakes his head and plans to not be at the station when Kay's sharing the video he probably just took.

"Here you go," he says as he hands an even more mortified Luke the bottle of water.

"Thanks— and sorry about Wedge, there's really no excuse," says Luke as he opens the bottle.

"No worries, I've had much worse," he says as he studies the equipment and the clearance between Luke's limbs a little more closely— there's just not quite enough room _anywhere_ for the sort of strategy that Kay's proposing, though once the fire jocks get here, he's sure they'll probably try it. "How are those knees of yours holding up?" he asks.

"Pretty fucking sore," admits Luke after he takes a long swig of water that validates Bodhi's decision to get him some. "These woodchips aren't exactly plush," he says, shifting about on them some more, "and no matter what Wedge has to say, I don't usually spend this much time on my knees," he grumbles.

Bodhi nods, doing his best to ignore the quip— 'don't get involved with a patient' is Rule One, and it's a very important rule, no matter how adorably stuck your patient might be— and showing Luke the neck pillow. "I'd say you're about to owe me another one of these, but I'd say you've got more things to worry about than that— just lift them up as best you can, that's good," he says as he brushes the woodchips off of the man's knees while laying down the pillow. "Got a couple of superficial cuts, some minor bleeding and probably some splinters, not to mention they'll probably be a bit bruised when we get you home— I can get you an icepack for that," he says, digging for the bandages, antiseptic wipes and cold pack out of his bag as he hears sirens approaching. "And that's your cavalry," he adds with what he hopes is a comforting smile.

Luke's face has gone red enough that Bodhi wonders if his blood pressure reading had been off. "Christ, why are they blaring the sirens, this isn't a real emergency, this is— this is bullshit."

Bodhi cleans up Luke's knees as best he can. "This is going to sting a bit— and as the person looking at the state of your knees, it's working its way steadily into 'real emergency' pretty quickly," he assures him as he tucks the cold pack into a towel and shifts Luke so that he can place it. "Do you have anyone who'd be wondering where you are about now? Have you contacted them yet?"

Luke shakes his head. "No— no boyfriend waiting up for me, just these assholes all making fun of me," he says, shooting a glare at his friends who look like… well, just as Luke described them.

Bodhi's not quite so professional or beholden to Rule One that his stomach doesn't do a little flip when Luke specifically states he doesn't have a boyfriend, though he tries to hide it. "I was thinking 'parent,' but you know, whomever would be your emergency contact— it's about time to contact them," he says, because now the firefighters are here, and they're about as sympathetic as Luke's friends.

"What the hell do you even call this thing?" asks a familiar voice— Bodhi looks up and sees Kay's favorite firefighter, Cassian Andor, a pair of bolt cutters dangling from one hand. "This is going to be more fun than dispatch led us to believe," he says as he takes in Luke's unfortunate situation.

Bodhi gives Luke's hand a reassuring tap as he gets to his feet. "I call it 'not helping,' Captain Andor— you got any ideas about how to get him out?"

Cassian's scrubbing his scruff with one hand. "Out the top, maybe, if we're lucky," he says, flicking the pole with a finger and listening to the sound it makes before lifting his radio up. "Shit, that's thick— Jyn, get the ladder and call the station, looks like we're probably going to need the rotary saw— maybe the torch."

Bodhi watches Luke's face get paler with every word and he drops back down to reassure him. "Don't worry about this— Captain Andor helped me cut a guy free who was actually impaled on a cast iron fence last year and he made it through just fine— you're not even impaled, so you're ahead of the game."

Luke looks a little bit like he might faint— shit— but he reaches for Bodhi's hand first. "Yeah— but you're gonna stay with me, right, Bodhi?" he asks, his throat working a little roughly.

Bodhi's chest feels oddly warm and he squeezes Luke's hand back. "Of course— I'm going to have to clear you, once you're free— it's going to be all right, these guys, they're all really quite good at their jobs. How are your knees feeling?" he asks, taking Luke's pulse while his hand's right there— still nice and steady, the paleness must have just been Bodhi needing to think his reassurances to trapped people through a little bit better.

"They're good— better, thanks," he says as Cassian starts setting the ladder up next to them. "Little cold now, though," he add, giving Bodhi a thin smile. Bodhi just nods, thinking that he'll probably have to get Luke a blanket anyway to shield him from the sparks that the saw and the torch both throw. They've got Kay on the ladder now to try to pull Luke up, so he has to let his hands go, which is a little traumatic because Luke's screaming that they're either going to dislocate his shoulder or break his legs and that's just not going to work.

Bodhi gives Luke's arm a squeeze while they're taking the ladder away, doing his best to shield him from where he can hear them starting to fire up the tools. "It's all right, here, I've got something for you," he says, prepping a needle because he knows the signs of someone about to go a little hysterical.

"What the hell is that for?" asks Luke who has a couple of tears threatening at the corner of his eyes.

"Just a little bit of valium, keep you calm while all this is going on— you're doing fine, this a lot for anyone to deal with, and I know you're tired, but it's going to be fine, I promise," he tells Luke as he finds the vein and gives him the injection. "I've got some ear plugs for you too, and we're going to wrap this around you," he says, taking the blanket that Kay's handing him and starting to arrange it around him. Luke's still looking pretty alarmed despite the valium and Bodhi's hoping the blanket will keep him from jerking around too much, though Luke's eyes when he sees the size of the rotary saw that Jyn and Cassian are hauling over make Bodhi wonder if Luke's got some sort of tolerance for the drug.

Luke wipes at his face. "Yeah, all right— they're not going to cut _me_ with that thing, right?"

Bodhi shakes his head, grabbing the earplugs. "Nope, Captain Andor's got more control than you'd think," he says as Cassian shoots him a look. "Now, the metal might get a little warm on you so try not to lean on it so much— and there are going to be some sparks but that's— that's all normal, that's why we've got the blanket. It's also going to be loud as hell, but I'll be right here, you're going to be fine," he says, putting in Luke's earplugs first before he puts on his own and gives Cassian the thumbs up to start cutting. The shriek of metal cutting through metal along with the sound of the gas engine is more than a little unnerving, even through the ear plugs, as Bodhi keeps an eye on the sparks, making sure they don't catch on the blanket. Luke looks like he might be chanting or singing something to himself while Cassian cuts, but it's impossible to hear over everything else going on. Kay's grin could only be wider if he were the one handling the saw.

It's every bit as much as a hassle as Bodhi'd been afraid of, but almost a half hour and five cuts later, they finally manage to pry the damned thing open and Luke all but flops out, landing in Bodhi's arms. "Careful, careful, that metal's still damned hot," says Cassian, pulling off his gloves as the crowd of onlookers cheer, but Bodhi's still focused on his patient.

"I've got you— see, told you it'd all be fine," he tells Luke who's moving more than a little stiffly, pulling out the earplugs and shaking a little bit from having to hold so still while Cassian had been cutting.

"That was— fucking demon jungle gym, never going near that shit again," mutters Luke as Bodhi helps him get up on very wobbly legs, motioning for Kay to get his other side because the last thing Luke needs is a wrenched knee or actual sprained ankle on the walk to the ambulance.

Bodhi lets out a soft laugh. "Didn't think you would— you're a little old to be on a jungle gym in the first place," he finally teases, now that Luke's free and in a place where it can be a joke again. Kay clears off once they're back at the truck to go help Cassian and Jyn clear the area and tape it off, leaving Bodhi to check Luke over again and help dress the cuts on his knees— Luke remains about as healthy as one could hope for in this situation. "Well, you're officially stable, no need to drag you to the hospital, though I wouldn't recommend driving after all that. Any of those asshole friends of yours good for a lift?" he asks, sitting on the bumper next to Luke while he finishes filling out his forms.

Luke looks someplace between disappointed and put out as he asks, "Wait, you're not going to take me home?"

Bodhi lets out a soft snort. "Only if you want to be billed an additional seven hundred dollars," he says and lets out another chuckle as Luke groans. "Sorry— that's why I asked about friends, they're usually cheaper. And maybe they'll hold you a fundraiser, help you pay for the rest," he muses.

Luke shakes his head. "You're thinking my friends are a lot more helpful than they actually are— you _did_ see how they've treated me so far, right?" Bodhi lets out another laugh and Luke gives him a smile that makes alarm bells about Rule One go off shrieking and unheeded in Bodhi's head. "Though I do have to give them credit for calling you in," he says.

"That's not a huge amount of credit, I'm just a dutiful city employee," says Bodhi, finishing off his report and tearing off Luke's copy to hand to him.

"Don't say that: you saved me from the clutches of the demon jungle gym," says Luke with the kind of softness and haziness in his voice that Bodhi's inclined to blame on the valium, except that Luke's reaching for his arm again. "And don't think I didn't notice how pleased you looked when I said I didn't have a boyfriend. I was trapped, not blind."

Bodhi takes in a deep breath, shaking his head. "That's— as a rule, I don't get involved with patients," he says.

Luke waves the report in his hand. "But it says right here that you've already cleared me to leave, Bodhi, I'm not your patient any more." Luke squeezes Bodhi's arm, his blue eyes twinkling as the street lights turn on. "Come on: this is easily the stupidest, most humiliating, and one of the most expensive stunts I've pulled in a long time. Least I can get out of it is a date."

Bodhi huffs out another laugh. "No, it's really not the least," he says, checking his watch. "But I do have another hour or so on my shift, so how's about the least you can get out of it is a phone number?" he says, grabbing his pen again and a scrap of paper to write it on because well, Luke really is that cute and definitely better at flirting than his friend Wedge, whether stuck in a piece of playground equipment or not. He hands it to Luke with a flourish and Luke is positively _delighted_ , looking the happiest he has since they met, which, to be fair, is a pretty generous curve. Luke's even leaning in towards him with a sort of expectant look, which is verging on presumptuous, but then the radio in the front of the truck crackles and they both jump a little bit.

"Robert Zero One, you got that kid out yet? I've got a stack of calls just waiting."

Bodhi lets out a sigh and grabs his radio. "Robert Zero One here, just packing things up, should only be a couple minutes but thank you for your patience," he says before switching it back off— on the other side of the lot he can see Kay wrapping up his own chat with Cassian, Jyn and, oddly enough, Luke's friend Wedge— well, at least Bodhi won't have to feel too guilty about abandoning Luke here. "Duty calls," he tells Luke, giving him a hand to help stand up from the bumper. "You be careful with those knees," he says with a soft smile, though Luke looks a lot more stable than he did on the walk over.

"Yeah, I'll try to be properly limbered up when I use this number," says Luke, ducking his head. "And I will— I'm going to call. Once my knees are healed," he says, starting to walk away and Bodhi most certainly doesn't feel a slight pang in his chest at Luke walking away, that would be silly.

Instead he just gives Luke a half-hearted salute and a smile, turning away when he sees Wedge get to Luke— not his to take care of or worry about anymore, it's on to the next call. With any luck, the next call will end as happily— not that Bodhi's getting his hopes up. After four years of driving an ambulance, Bodhi's learned better to get his hopes up too high, even if he has lost the horrible sinking feeling he'd had at the beginning of the night. And he might even catch himself looking forward to Luke calling him as Kay drives them away from the park and towards their next patient.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday, Astoria! I know, not enough smut, but I hope the excessive cuteness works as well. I was looking for prompts and found one (I have sadly lost the list) which said, "How the hell did you get stuck in a child's swing set?" or something like that, and then I found [this picture](http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/16/88/bfe5a33f45df50dd14da0e42d3c10bf4.jpg) and the rest of it mostly wrote itself. Neither Eisoj5 nor I have any idea what to call that thing, nor are we trained paramedics or firefighters, so I take the blame for all those inaccuracies.


End file.
